The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill. Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.