Things You Learn From the Movies Winter 2001 If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically pressing the cradle switch and saying, "Hello? Hello?" If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging. Many musical instruments, especially wind instruments and accordions, can be played without moving the fingers. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings, especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. Most dogs are immortal. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while scuba diving. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. Stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment. The Chief of Police is always black.